By Coach Dave Daubenmire
December 19, 2013
“Where have all the fathers gone? Long time passin’.
Where have all the fathers gone? Long time ago.
Where have all the fathers gone? Killed be the culture every one.
When will we ever learn? When will we ever learn?”
I hope Pete Seeger will forgive me for taking poetic license with his 60’s folk ballad. It is rhetorical you know?
A rhetorical question is one that doesn’t necessary require an answer. Usually the answer is obvious, but often it is asked merely for affect.
“Where have all the flowers gone…” can be answered many different ways. The question is significant only because of the nature of flowers. They bloom and then die. Flowers have no eternal impact.
But fathers are different. They are not supposed to bloom and die. Fathers are eternal…at least their impact is. Fathers are not designed to merely fade away.
If you ever lost one…you know what I mean. Fathers are much more significant than flowers.
Where HAVE all the fathers gone?
Being a father is tough business in America today. It requires work. It requires nurturing. It requires pruning. Unfortunately, very few men really know how to do it.
My father has been gone for nearly 8 years. I find the strangest things bringing him to my remembrance. Little things. Insignificant things. But Dad is always there. He truly is part of me.
The Scriptures warn us about the power of fatherhood, as well as the long-lasting impact that fatherhood has on us all. Exodus 20:4-6
“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.”
Have you ever thought about that? Do you often find yourself reacting to a situation the way your father did? Or scarier yet…do you ever see YOUR mannerisms in your son? The footprint of a father leaves an indelible mark on the soul of a child.
Where have all the fathers gone?
It is fatherhood that is under assault in America today. We hear a lot about the war on women…but it is the war on Dads that is causing the greatest damage to the American psyche. An absent Dad leaves a vast chasm in the life of a child…one the child struggles all his/her life to fill.
Fathers have become the no deposit, no return, throw away pop bottles that I remember as a kid. But the question about fathers is not a rhetorical one. An absent Dad is not a folk song to be sung about. An absent father is a tragedy. Nothing leaves a young child more handicapped than an absent father.
Where have all the fathers gone is a question that deserves an answer. It is an investigation worth having. Permit me to lay out some concerns.
Our courts do not value fatherhood. One of the rotten fruits of the feminist movement is the idea that a women is more responsible as a parent than the father is. As a result of this false narrative, women are almost always granted custody rights in any divorce decree. The man has to fight for the right to parent his own children. Even though the courts will saddle him with “child support” the break-up of the family separates the child from the “support” of a father that a monthly payment cannot replace.
In fact, if the woman makes an accusation of abuse against the father he may be barred from ever seeing his children again. Many of our governmental policies lead to fatherlessness.
I often wonder how our own children would have turned out if Michele and I had divorced. My wife is an awesome, loving, caring, nurturing mother. But she isn’t me. I cannot tell you how many times she was able to gain control of one of our rambunctious children merely by uttering the famous words “You wait until your father gets home.” They all new what that meant.
Sadly, today many Dads never get the chance to come home. Weekend visits does not get the job done. Trips to the zoo or the ball game does not fill that relationship void that only an intact family environment can provide. New boyfriends, or live in partners only contribute to the emptiness the child often feels.
“He is not my Dad…he is just someone you sleep with!” How many mothers have felt the sting of those words. That is why God hates divorce. We should too.
Where have all the fathers gone? They have been expelled from the life of the child by the court system. Uncle Sam is a poor replacement for a father.
A “woman’s right to choose” is another lie that has destroyed fatherhood.
As one who has spent a great deal of time outside of the abortion clinics desperately striving to rescue a child from death I often appeal directly to the father.
“You are not a man because you can make a baby. You are a man when you can raise a baby! It is time to man up and defend your child”
That statement always penetrates the heart of a young man and more often than not the boy will respond that it really isn’t his decision. It is his girlfriends choice. He doesn’t have anything to say about it he tells us as he slinks behind his girlfriends skirt.
Where are you Adam? God asked in Genesis 3. “The woman you gave me…” Adam passed the buck. Man has desired to shirk responsibility ever since. It is a woman’s choice…and women have done it to themselves.
The woman’s movement has produced irresponsible men. The “right to choose” has taken all accountability away from the man. The child becomes the property of the mother…the child is merely something the boy will be forced to pay for. Let me ask you a question.
If the unwed father wants to parent the child can he force the women to give birth so he can raise it? Why not?
Today our schools are staffed by a large majority of women. A male elementary teacher is about as common as a black Republican. Over 70% of the children born to a black mother do not live with their father. The statistics are only slightly better for Hispanic children (55%). And although in 1950 only 5% of Caucasian children were raised in single-parent homes the numbers today are creeping over the 40% mark.
And how do we handle the crisis? We send these fatherless children to government schools where the teachers are women, the principle is a woman, as well as most of the support staff. Nothing against women…I married one. I have two daughters. I love women. But a woman has no business teaching a young man how to be a man any more than a man can teach a young girl how to be a woman.
For the most part women feel, men think. Even Kermit the frog realized that.
You can’t live with them, you can’t live without ’em. There’s something irressistibullish about ’em. They made a monkey out of old King Kong. I hope that something better comes along.”
Nothing better has come along…because it was all God’s idea.
And that is just the “boy” side of the story.
I don’t have time to delve into the damage that an absent Daddy does regarding the virtue of his daughter. A Daddy is the first man that a little girl wants to please. If there is no Daddy around I promise you she will find someone to scratch her itch.
I was partly responsible for the raising of two daughters. Even though I didn’t understand how a girl thought I was a valuable resource in helping them because I understood how teenage boys thought. I took it upon my self to defend their honor, protect their virtue, and build into them a sense of personal value. I was there to guide, guard, and govern them. I lived what I preached. That’s what Daddy’s do.
I remember when our oldest, Abby, asked permission to go go the 8th grade dance. I inquired who the suitor was and told her that I would have to meet him.
“Please Daddy, don’t embarrass me.” She pleaded.
“Abby, I wouldn’t let him borrow my car with out meeting him and you are far more valuable to me than my car.”
“Oh Daddy,” she blushed. The next day he was in our living room.
The real war in America is not a war on women. It is a war on men. A war on manhood. Nothing has had more collateral damage for our children than the destruction of fatherhood.
I remember decades ago watching macho man Burt Reynolds on one of his frequent appearances with Johnny Carson.
“So Burt, tell me, when is a man a man.” Johnny asked playboy Burt.
Expecting a response with off-color overtones Johnny was shocked when Burt slowly, with deep reflection replied; “You aren’t a man until your Daddy says you are a man.”
Is it any wonder that today men are still looking for the answer. There are no Dads to tell them anymore.
Where have all the fathers gone?
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Do you think like a Christian or a humanist? Did the Founders really separate Church and State? Is Judicial tyranny ruining America? Check out these great teachings by the Coach
© 2013 Dave Daubenmire – All Rights Reserved
Pastor Freddie Beard
Published December 19, 2013
“Duck Dynasty” dad Phil Robertson has been suspended indefinitely by the A&E Network following his recent comments on homosexuality, the network announced Wednesday night.
“We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series ‘Duck Dynasty’,” the network said in a statement.
“His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”
Earlier Wednesday, Roberston had responded to critics who had slammed him for very graphic statements he made about his preference for heterosexual sex over homosexual sex.
“I myself am a product of the 60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior,” he said in a statement sent to FOX411.
“My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together.
“However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”
We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity
– Phil Robertson
In a wide-ranging interview with GQ, Robertson didn’t hold back when sharing his thoughts about homosexuality and sinning.
“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong… Sin becomes fine,” he said. “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.”
MSNBC has a new host. He’s Mia Farrow’s son, Ronan Farrow. Ronan is a smart guy. He graduated from college at 15. He graduated from Yale Law School. He subsequently studied at Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar in 2012. It seems that all his learning has left him bereft of an understanding of Thanksgiving. Tweeting to his followers, he “joked” that Thanksgiving is about “genocide”: “This Thanksgiving, let’s give thanks for what we have and also awkwardly apologize to the Native Americans we slaughtered to get it.”
Participating in thanksgiving has a long. Thanksgiving, as it was practiced by the colonists, was a religious celebration that shared the sentiments of their biblical forerunners, giving thanks to God for His faithful provision even in times of need and tragedy. For these devoutly religious people, thanksgiving would have come naturally. “Twice en route the passengers [aboard the Mayflower in 1620] participated in a fast, and once (two days after sounding ground beneath the Arbella) a ‘thanksgiving.’ When the sailing season ended with all ships accounted for, ‘we had a day of thanksgiving in all the plantations.’”
There are numerous claims to the first Thanksgiving celebrated in the New World. One of the earliest recorded festivals occurred a half century before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth. “A small colony of French Huguenots established a settlement near present-day Jacksonville, Florida. On June 30, 1564, their leader, René de Laudonnière, recorded that ‘We sang a psalm of Thanksgiving unto God, beseeching Him that it would please Him to continue His accustomed goodness towards us.’”
In 1610, after a hard winter called “the starving time,” the colonists at Jamestown called for a time of thanksgiving. This was after the original company of 409 colonists had been reduced to 60 survivors. Extreme hardship did not deter the survivors from turning to God in thanksgiving. The colonists prayed for help that finally arrived by a ship filled with food and supplies from England. They held a prayer service to give thanks.
This thanksgiving celebration was not commemorated formally on a yearly basis. An annual commemoration of thanksgiving came nine years later in another part of Virginia. “On December 4, 1619, 38 colonists landed at a place they called Berkeley Hundred [in Virginia]. ‘We ordain,’ read an instruction in their charter, ‘that the day of our ship’s arrival . . . in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually kept holy as a day of Thanksgiving to Almighty God.’”
While none of these Thanksgiving celebrations was an official national pronouncement (no nation existed at the time), they do support the claim that the celebrations were religious and specifically Christian in their origin and purpose. “Thanksgiving began as a holy day, created by a community of God-fearing Puritans sincere in their desire to set aside one day each year especially to thank the Lord for His many blessings. The day they chose, coming after the harvest at a time of year when farm work was light, fit the natural rhythm of rural life.”
On Thursday, September 24, 1789, the first House of Representatives voted to recommend the First Amendment of the newly drafted Constitution to the states for ratification. The next day, Congressman Elias Boudinot from New Jersey proposed that the House and Senate jointly request of President Washington to proclaim a day of thanksgiving for “the many signal favors of Almighty God.” Boudinot said that he “could not think of letting the session pass over without offering an opportunity to all the citizens of the United States of joining, with one voice, in returning to Almighty God their sincere thanks for the many blessings he had poured down upon them.”